I went to see a mate after work today that I haven't seen in ages and that I've been friends with since I was 12 years old. We did the usual, drank tea, talked about shite while her 3 lovely boys ran around like lunatics and I bid my farewells after about an hour.
But for the rest of this evening I've been filled with this enormous warmth and sense of well being. It's got me thinking on the nature of friendship.
I'm not really close to any of my family other than the next sister down from me and even at that it's been a pretty fraught relationship over the years, but I'm really blessed by the friends that I've managed to gather into my life. And these people are my real family. I love them very deeply and do genuinely believe that I have managed to carry some of them from one lifetime into this one.
So, are the people that we are brought up with, brought into this world by our real family or is it the one we create for ourselves? For the vast majority of the people I know they are really just survivors of their childhoo ds and family's more than anything else. I am more and more convinced that my family are actually my friends.
The ones that really know me - you know the real me the one that deep down in those dark places that we don't like to talk about at parties, just wants to sit in the corner and observe everything - know that I'm really quite a solitary soul. I love my own company and tend to talk a lot while saying very little, well one of my very closest friends is the exact same - she is the life and soul, little miss entertainer, sun is always shining and together we're just a laugh a minute, sit back and enjoy the show - and yet alone it's very different. We crossed paths years ago and have been friends ever since. So was it chance that brought that about or was it something else?
Why is it that when one of my other friends is upset I get her smell in my nose even when she was the other side of the globe in Brazil?
What is it about friendship that makes it so very intergal to my life? Why is it that I can walk away from bonds with family or lovers and not even give it a second thought and yet a falling out with a friend will leave me devastated? Is that normal?
I'm not sure that it is from what other people tell me. Wonder if I'll ever figure out if I'm wired normally?
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Top Tips!!!!
If a small child is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down its throat and hey presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.
Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment, always circle the stain in permanent pen, so that when you remove the garment from the washing machine you can easily locate the area of the stain and check that it has gone.
Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand next to the object you wish to view.
Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
Always poo at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you'll also be getting paid for it.
Weight watchers. Avoid that devilish temptation to nibble at a chocolate bar in the cupboard or fridge by not buying the f**king thing in the first place, you fat bastard.
Save on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The morning after, you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a thimble full of washing up liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.
Recreate the fun of a visit to a public swimming pool in your home by filling the bath with cold water, adding two bottles of bleach, then urinating into it, before jumping in.
Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.
Thicken up runny low-fat yoghurt by stirring in a spoonful of lard.
Anorexics. When your knees become fatter than your legs, start eating cakes again.
An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.
Olympic athletes. Disguise the fact that you've taken steroids by running a bit slower.
Smokers. Save on matches and lighters, by simply lighting your next fag from the butt of your last one.
Vegetarians coming to dinner? Simply serve them a nice bit of steak or veal. Since they're always going on about how tofu, Quorn, meat substitute etc 'tastes exactly like the real thing', they won't know the difference.
Invited by vegetarians for dinner? Point out that since you'd no doubt be made aware of their special dietary requirements, tell them about yours, and ask for a nice steak.
Give comics that 'Pulp Fiction' feel by reading the last frames of cartoons first, and then read the rest in random order.
High blood pressure sufferers. Simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
Heavy smokers. Don't throw away those filters from the end of your cigarettes. Save them up and within a few years you'll have enough to insulate your roof.
Nissan Micra drivers. Attach a lighted sparkler to the roof of your car before starting a long journey. You drive the things like dodgems anyway, so it may as well look like one.
A mouse trap placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.
Avoid bickering and petty arguments by immediately punching anyone with whom you disagree.
Fool next door into thinking you have more stairs than them by banging your feet twice on each stair.
At supermarket checkouts a Toblerone box makes a handy 'Next customer Please' sign for dyslexic shoppers.
Girls. Don't worry about a nice dress for that important first date. All he's interested in is seeing you starkers.
Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes' eyes bulge and cause them to swim in an amusing manner.
A next door neighbor's car aerial, carefully folded, makes an ideal coat hanger in an emergency.
And Finally........................
AVOID parking tickets by leaving your windscreen wipers turned to 'fast wipe' whenever you leave your car parked illegally.
HOUSEWIVES. I find the best way to get two bottles of washing-up liquid for the price of one is by putting one in your shopping trolley and the other in your coat pocket.
OLD telephone directories make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and address of people you don't know.
FUN-sized Mars Bars make ideal normal sized Mars Bars for midgets.
40 Things You'd Love To Say Out Loud At Work
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.
10. Ahhhh . I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be ?
24. Do I look like a f*cking people person to you?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing & I still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made, Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. Oh I get it . like humour . but different.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume Must you really marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is finally done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
39. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
40. Wait a minute --- I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.
10. Ahhhh . I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be ?
24. Do I look like a f*cking people person to you?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing & I still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made, Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. Oh I get it . like humour . but different.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume Must you really marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is finally done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
39. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
40. Wait a minute --- I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
Song Lyrics
I think song lyrics are this generation's poetry, well, maybe the last 4 generation's poetry if you want to be technical. How many times have you found yourself in a situation where the only appropriate response is a song lyric?
I think it's interesting to find out what are people's favourite song lyrics, says something about what speaks to their souls, well, I think it does anyway.
So I would be very interested to hear what your fav lyrics are?
Some of mine include:
Sometimes we would spend the night, just rolling around on the floor, and although it always felt soft at the time, I always used to wake up sore. The Cure
I've found a liquid cure for my landlocked blues. Bright Eyes
I'm a member of an ape like race at the arse hole end of the 20th Century, my highs are higher than my lows. James
Sometimes there's no poison like a dream. Belly
Looked in the mirror, I don't know who I am anymore, the face is familiar, but the eyes, the eyes, give it all away. James
Don't think cos I understand I care, don't cos I'm talking we're friends. Sneaker Pimps
Actually, all the lyrics to the song Out to Get You by James. Check them out.
I think it's interesting to find out what are people's favourite song lyrics, says something about what speaks to their souls, well, I think it does anyway.
So I would be very interested to hear what your fav lyrics are?
Some of mine include:
Sometimes we would spend the night, just rolling around on the floor, and although it always felt soft at the time, I always used to wake up sore. The Cure
I've found a liquid cure for my landlocked blues. Bright Eyes
I'm a member of an ape like race at the arse hole end of the 20th Century, my highs are higher than my lows. James
Sometimes there's no poison like a dream. Belly
Looked in the mirror, I don't know who I am anymore, the face is familiar, but the eyes, the eyes, give it all away. James
Don't think cos I understand I care, don't cos I'm talking we're friends. Sneaker Pimps
Actually, all the lyrics to the song Out to Get You by James. Check them out.
Things that make blokes proud of themselves!
1. OPENING JARS - She's struggling. You take it from her hands, open it effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn't. Jars are men's work.
2. CALLING SOMEONE 'SON' - Especially policeman but even saying it to kids makes you the man.
3. DOING A PROPER SLIDE TACKLE - Beckham free kicks - camp. A Stuart Pearce tackle is the pinnacle of the game, simultaneously winning the ball and crippling the man. Magic.
4. SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A STANLEY KNIFE - Blunt, is it? Hand it here love. No, I don't need a sharpener, I've got a knife thanks!
5. GOING TO THE TIP - A manly act which combines driving, lifting and as you thrillingly drop your rubbish into another huge pile of other rubbish - noisy destruction.
6. DRINKING UP - Specifically, rising from the table, slinging your coat on and downing two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then nodding towards the door, saying, "Let's go" and striding out while everyone else struggles to catch up with you. You're hard.
7. HAVING A THIN BIT OF WOOD - in the shed, solely to stir paint with.
8. HAVING A SCAR - Ideally it'll be a facial knife wound, but even an iron burn on the wrist is good. "Ooh, did it hurt". "Nah".
9. HAVING A HANGOVER AND THICK STUBBLE - When birds have been partying they just whinge. You on the other hand have physical evidence of your hardness, sprouting from your face. "Big night?" Grr, what does it look like.
10. NODDING AT COPPERS - A moment's eye contact is all it takes for you to share the unspoken bond. "We've not seen eye to eye in the past",it says, "but someone's got to keep the little scrotes in line".
11. USING POWER TOOLS - Slightly more powerful than you need or can safely handle. Pneumatic drilling while smoking a fag? Superb.
12. KICKING A FOOTY AGAINST A GARAGE DOOR - Clang-g-g-g-g-g-! Stick that Becks, I kick so hard I set off car alarms.
13. ARRIVING IN A PUB LATE - And everyone cheers you. It doesn't mean you're popular, it just means your mates are pissed. However, the rest of the pub doesn't know that.
14. NOT WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT - Fat is a feminist issue, apparently. Brilliant. Pass the pork scratchings.
15. CARVING THE ROAST - And saying "are you a leg or breast man?" to the blokes and "do you want stuffing?" to the women. Congratulations, you are now your dad.
16. WINKING - Turns women to putty. Doesn't it?
17. TEST SWINGING HAMMERS - Ideally, B&Q would have little changing rooms with mirrors so you could see how rugged you look with any DIY item. Until then, we'll make do with the aisles.
18. TAKING OUT £200 FROM A CASHPOINT - Okay, so its for paying the plumber later but with that much cash you feel like a mafia don. The only thing better is peeling notes off the roll later.
19. PHONE CALLS THAT LAST LESS THAN A MINUTE - Unlike birds, we get straight to the point. "Alright? Yep. Drink? Red lion? George, it is then. Seven. See ya."
20. PARALLEL PARKING - Bosh, straight in. First time. Can Schumacher do that? No, because his cars got no reverse gear which, technically, makes you the worlds best driver.
21. HAVING EARNED THAT PINT - Since the dawn of time, men have toiled in the fields in blistering heat. Why? So, when it's over we can stand there in silence, surveying our work with one hand resting on the beer gut while the other nurses a foaming jug of ale. Aaaah.
22. HAVING SOMETHING PROPERLY WRONG WITH YOU - Especially if you didn't make a fuss. "Why was I off, nothing much, just a brain haemorrhage".
23. KNOWING WHICH SCREWDRIVER IS WHICH - "A Phillips? For that? Are you mad, bint?"
24. TAKING A NEWSPAPER INTO THE LOO - A visual code that says that's right, I'm going in there for a huge, long man-sized poo.
25. CALLING YOUR MATE A C*NT - And punching him on the shoulder. Just a man's way of saying "you're a good mate; I missed you while you were in hospital".
2. CALLING SOMEONE 'SON' - Especially policeman but even saying it to kids makes you the man.
3. DOING A PROPER SLIDE TACKLE - Beckham free kicks - camp. A Stuart Pearce tackle is the pinnacle of the game, simultaneously winning the ball and crippling the man. Magic.
4. SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A STANLEY KNIFE - Blunt, is it? Hand it here love. No, I don't need a sharpener, I've got a knife thanks!
5. GOING TO THE TIP - A manly act which combines driving, lifting and as you thrillingly drop your rubbish into another huge pile of other rubbish - noisy destruction.
6. DRINKING UP - Specifically, rising from the table, slinging your coat on and downing two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then nodding towards the door, saying, "Let's go" and striding out while everyone else struggles to catch up with you. You're hard.
7. HAVING A THIN BIT OF WOOD - in the shed, solely to stir paint with.
8. HAVING A SCAR - Ideally it'll be a facial knife wound, but even an iron burn on the wrist is good. "Ooh, did it hurt". "Nah".
9. HAVING A HANGOVER AND THICK STUBBLE - When birds have been partying they just whinge. You on the other hand have physical evidence of your hardness, sprouting from your face. "Big night?" Grr, what does it look like.
10. NODDING AT COPPERS - A moment's eye contact is all it takes for you to share the unspoken bond. "We've not seen eye to eye in the past",it says, "but someone's got to keep the little scrotes in line".
11. USING POWER TOOLS - Slightly more powerful than you need or can safely handle. Pneumatic drilling while smoking a fag? Superb.
12. KICKING A FOOTY AGAINST A GARAGE DOOR - Clang-g-g-g-g-g-! Stick that Becks, I kick so hard I set off car alarms.
13. ARRIVING IN A PUB LATE - And everyone cheers you. It doesn't mean you're popular, it just means your mates are pissed. However, the rest of the pub doesn't know that.
14. NOT WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT - Fat is a feminist issue, apparently. Brilliant. Pass the pork scratchings.
15. CARVING THE ROAST - And saying "are you a leg or breast man?" to the blokes and "do you want stuffing?" to the women. Congratulations, you are now your dad.
16. WINKING - Turns women to putty. Doesn't it?
17. TEST SWINGING HAMMERS - Ideally, B&Q would have little changing rooms with mirrors so you could see how rugged you look with any DIY item. Until then, we'll make do with the aisles.
18. TAKING OUT £200 FROM A CASHPOINT - Okay, so its for paying the plumber later but with that much cash you feel like a mafia don. The only thing better is peeling notes off the roll later.
19. PHONE CALLS THAT LAST LESS THAN A MINUTE - Unlike birds, we get straight to the point. "Alright? Yep. Drink? Red lion? George, it is then. Seven. See ya."
20. PARALLEL PARKING - Bosh, straight in. First time. Can Schumacher do that? No, because his cars got no reverse gear which, technically, makes you the worlds best driver.
21. HAVING EARNED THAT PINT - Since the dawn of time, men have toiled in the fields in blistering heat. Why? So, when it's over we can stand there in silence, surveying our work with one hand resting on the beer gut while the other nurses a foaming jug of ale. Aaaah.
22. HAVING SOMETHING PROPERLY WRONG WITH YOU - Especially if you didn't make a fuss. "Why was I off, nothing much, just a brain haemorrhage".
23. KNOWING WHICH SCREWDRIVER IS WHICH - "A Phillips? For that? Are you mad, bint?"
24. TAKING A NEWSPAPER INTO THE LOO - A visual code that says that's right, I'm going in there for a huge, long man-sized poo.
25. CALLING YOUR MATE A C*NT - And punching him on the shoulder. Just a man's way of saying "you're a good mate; I missed you while you were in hospital".
Friday, October 6, 2006
la la la, la la la, la la la la la al
show me the way to go home-..... i´m tired and i want to go to bed. i had a little drink about 5 minutes ago and it´s gone right to my head da da da da.....
Well Hallai has asked a very pertinent question, am I a danger ot myself or others? I took her drinking tonight with a brolken back. I think Í´m a bad sister. Cáca would kill me, she will kill me when she finds out. and moneypenny won´t holiday with me anymore either. so maybe I am better off not being around people, cos I only seem to end up hurting them or getting them into really bad situations.
i´m hoping to be in ireland on Sunday. also i have offically lost my will to fornicate. it´s sad but true. new year new me.
yours drunk as a monkey,
CactusFan
Well Hallai has asked a very pertinent question, am I a danger ot myself or others? I took her drinking tonight with a brolken back. I think Í´m a bad sister. Cáca would kill me, she will kill me when she finds out. and moneypenny won´t holiday with me anymore either. so maybe I am better off not being around people, cos I only seem to end up hurting them or getting them into really bad situations.
i´m hoping to be in ireland on Sunday. also i have offically lost my will to fornicate. it´s sad but true. new year new me.
yours drunk as a monkey,
CactusFan
Tuesday, October 3, 2006
I want to go home!
I really want to go home now. This is day 6 in Lima and I´ve really had enough.
I found some English navy guys yesterday so I went on the piss last night. First night out drinking since I got here, but christ they are just a bunch of boring fuckers. I suppose if I was stuck on a boat for 7 months I would be looking to get hammered too, but I would have been better off back in the hostel. There´s nothing worse than being on your own in a crowd. And the worst of it was all they are really interested in is getting laid, preferrably without having to pay for it.
But now I´m off to the hospital to fight with some administration people to try and get out of here and home.
Hallai is doing much much better. She is bored out of her mind though. I feel sorry for her being stuck in a hospital bed the whole time. But she is able to get up and walk around the room so at least that´s something. Can´t wait to go home at this stage.
TTFN
I found some English navy guys yesterday so I went on the piss last night. First night out drinking since I got here, but christ they are just a bunch of boring fuckers. I suppose if I was stuck on a boat for 7 months I would be looking to get hammered too, but I would have been better off back in the hostel. There´s nothing worse than being on your own in a crowd. And the worst of it was all they are really interested in is getting laid, preferrably without having to pay for it.
But now I´m off to the hospital to fight with some administration people to try and get out of here and home.
Hallai is doing much much better. She is bored out of her mind though. I feel sorry for her being stuck in a hospital bed the whole time. But she is able to get up and walk around the room so at least that´s something. Can´t wait to go home at this stage.
TTFN
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